Do You Suffer from ‘The Doubt’ ?
A few weeks ago I made the big decision to extend Littlemummy.com to include a team of writers. I just don’t have the time to produce the quality and quantity of content I require alone. Better to admit it now and try and move the blog forward rather than let it go to the dogs!
I threw together a quick post and suppressed the fear that no one would respond. Within 7 hours (through the night!) I received over 20 applications. Very high quality applications too, I’m going to struggle to whittle them down! If I’d have let ‘The Doubt’ (as I like to call it) creep in then I would never have posted for guest writers and never have discovered the plethora of talent that would be prepared to work alongside me at Littlemummy.com. In fact thinking back I’d say that nearly every time I’ve experienced ‘The Doubt’ the outcome has been better than I expected. This may well be because I’ve set my expectations super low, but still!
Although all the submissions were of a good quality I would say that in 80% of the applications there was ‘The Doubt’. I’ve seen phrases like ‘I don’t have a cat in hell’s chance’ and ‘I’m probably not experienced enough’ and ‘I know that I’m probably not what you’re looking for’. Now I don’t want to criticise these people, in fact I give them MAJOR KUDOS for having the guts to shoot me an email in the first place, I bet there were a few people who thought about it and were completely overcome with ‘The Doubt’. Trouble is, if you’re going to have the guts to do it. Then just do it. Leave ‘The Doubt’ and your modesty at the door. I don’t want to hear that you’re not good enough, I want to hear that you’re the best thing to happen to my blog since me (my tongue is firmly in my cheek here btw).
Do you ever suffer from ‘The Doubt’?
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Yes yes yes
which is why you didn’t get a email from me ! But having said that as the days go on the doubt get’s smaller. I do have you guys to thank for that and I have no doubt in saying it 
That’s fab Ali.
I’m finding the more I ignore it the less it bothers me
I whole heartedly agree with you. I find it really difficult when I’m talking to women who are going back to work and they are all “I don’t think I’ll be quite what you’re looking for but…” – come on, if I’m employing you I need to have faith in you and be confident in what you can do. It drives me *nuts*. When you or I apply for a job we don’t undersell ourselves. We SELL our businesses and the benefits of working with us. I need people to do that when they are selling themselves to me.
Put the doubt where it should be. In a box. Where you and I can’t see it, hear it or experience it. It is pants and has no benefit to either of us.
Shall I draw breath now? Apologies. I’ll get down from my high horse…
Love this comment, I can feel the passion!
Here’s a question. Is it only women that experience ‘The Doubt’ or do men do too but they don’t show it?
Constant doubt, I agree with Liz, I ahve it in my head, but I don’t verbalise it – there are certain skills and talents that I have that I * truly* believe in, all of this without having a lot of self confidence! weird, I know, but I am a walking contradiction.
Like the post says, usually the outcome is much better – I agree with this totally – like every job you *didn’t* get – with hindsight, you never wanted anyway!
Thanks this post hit the spot! A good reminder to us all…
I think doubts are good, if they are kept to yourself and your close circle of friends/advisers – they are a form of risk assessment and quality control – however that’s as far as they should be shared.
[...] Douglas posted an article on the Become a Mumpreneur blog this week about The Doubt. The Doubt is Erica’s name for the fear that you get when you try something new. What if [...]
I try not to let it happen to me but will also be something holding me back – I don’t think we can be confident in every situation we walk into.
Very true Naomi: if I am confident in every situation I know that I’m no longer growing or challenging myself
I can confirm “The Doubt” exists in all of us, men & women! My hubby and I run a business together and are continually battling it as we try to grow & shape our business. Fear is good though, and “The Doubt” is part of that – it shows that something is important to us, and that we have passion about it. It also shows that we are moving out of our comfort zone, which is the only way we can grow.
If it didn’t matter if you got it wrong then there would be something lacking in the decision making process.
This has inspired me to write my own blog on it – with a link to yours of course!
Keep doubting, just don’t let it take over and keep moving forward!!!!
excellent response Helen. Erica and I went to an event where the speaker, Lisa Baker was talking about your comfort zone, your stretch zone and your panic zone, and yes, I agree that The Doubt can appear when you move out of one zone and into the next. We’ve got Lisa doing a teleseminar for us in July which will help us all learn more about how to manage our challenges so we stay out of the panic zone and recognise The Doubt for what it is!
I have the doubt, and recently blogged about it (go find it on my blog if you want, but I shan’t link directly as I’m not here to drum up traffic!). I worry that my priorities have changed too much for me to give the required 100% to my work – probably true. I worry that the amount of sleep I’m getting will not improve and I’ll be the office zombie – distinctly possible. Have I shared these worries with my boss – definitely not. The last thing I need is for him to have “The Doubt”.
Please do feel free to link: we’d be interested to read it! Take some time as, yes, you’re right, your priorities have changed and you may make different decisions to what you’d have done pre-kids. WRT the sleep thing, after 9 years and 3 kids I’ve just got used to having more days where I feel tired. It’s not ideal, but you’ll manage.
[...] Free Yourself of “The Doubt” [...]
Hi Erica,
It’s Heather here from Mums Got A Business.com and I think the ‘doubt’ can get all of us at one time or another.
As a therapist I hear a lot about the ‘doubt’ – I hear it a lot from women in the things that they say and particularly the words they use about themselves.
I also know about the ‘doubt’ from personal experience and it’s very clever at sneaking up on you when you’re just about to step onto a stage in front of a few hundred people lol.
The trick is to see it for what it is (a way for our subconscious mind to keep us safe). It’s saying “Are you sure you want to push yourself out in public again like this? Remember back when you had that embarrassing moment when you forgot what you were saying?” or ” We don’t want you to get hurt again like when you didn’t get that job after you thought you’d done really well at the interview”
We must face it with evidence of all the times when something good happened, we must remember all our successes and triumphs, we can put its mind at ease with balanced feelings and a calmness that tells it “It’s going to be OK”.
Once we step outside our comfort zone – our comfort zone actually gets a bit bigger. We can practise until the ‘doubt’ isn’t there any more and move on to the next level. Everyone has the ‘doubt’, it’s just a case of acknowledging it and moving through it. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway!’
Best wishes
Heather x
That’s really helpful thank you Heather: and ties in with what Lucy and I have found – gather positive evidence of your success to help when faced with the Doubt
The Doubt can be a killer – I get it all the time! I have a word document where I gather positive comments I’ve had on my products and services so when the doubt hits I go and immerse myself in that for a couple of minutes. It does help and inspires me to move forward … Good luck everyone!
excellent idea Lucy – I have a file in my inbox where I collect ‘thanks’ from people, and I often tell mentoring clients to create a success board where they stick up all their achievements and positive comments to see every day.
[...] will have to choose and hope for the best. Erica at Be a Mumpreneur wrote a good post about ‘The Doubt‘, which sort of sums up what I’m feeling about my working future. I’m more [...]